Before we dive to deep into what BIG is, let’s discuss what BIG isn’t.
BIG is not about your ego, your position at your company, your title or even about acquiring large sums of money. Often times we measure our self worth based on how hard we work, the results we achieve in our tasks, how much money we amass, even the car we drive or the house we live in. Other times, we attribute our self worth to how others perceive us or who is proud of us. We put too much emphasis on what others think about us yet we forget that true self-worth does not encompass any of this. The old saying, “some of the richest people are the poorest,” is as true as ever.
So if being BIG is none of the above, than what is BIG?
Simply put, being BIG means feeling right. It means being able to tackle each obstacle with confidence, poise and spunk. Being BIG is all about the ol’ pep in the step, tackling each day with an optimistic lens instead of dragging your knuckles from one point to the next. In order to be BIG, you must look into your heart and soul and strive to achieve a healthy ego.
While we encourage you not to put all your eggs in one basket, having a good ego does play a huge role in how we view ourselves. After all, having a positive ego has propelled Allan and I in our coaching career.
We must defuse the old myth that all ego is bad, this is simply not true. I struggled with this idea early in my career, but after doing some self-reflection I learned that there is such a thing as healthy ego. We shouldn’t hold back because we think our goals may be viewed as selfish, such as acquiring wealth. A healthy ego is just the opposite, it’s having confidence in the goals we set even if others may not agree with it.
I once worked with an individual named Carly, a leader in a large retail organization, who had the reputation for leading with fear and intimidation. Carly’s style led to many unsatisfied employees, many who actually ended up leaving under her. After a new division leader was brought in with a radically different approach to leadership, Carly realized she had to change. She had become too focused on achieving results at any means necessary, leading to negative long-term implications. Through coaching, Carly was able to realize her brashness and unhealthy ego. Instead of barking orders, she decided to step back and listen to what others had to say. The positive feedback from her employees was almost instantaneous, they immediately noticed the change in her personality and reacted accordingly. The overall morale of the team increased, which led to greater results and less micromanaging.
Remember, just because you’re a leader does not mean you are exempt from listening to others. In fact, it’s just the opposite. A successful leader listens first and then provides critical feedback if necessary.
Can you recall times you felt BIG?